I have a son! Here's his story:
My water broke at home early Sunday morning, June 19. I woke up at 5am to a small trickle of fluid followed by menstrual-type cramps. Once I got up, I had several gushes of fluid come out and I decided to wake my husband to tell him my water broke. His response was, "You're kidding." I said, "Nope. You'd better go pack."
We got to the hospital at about 8am and they monitored my contractions for about a half hour, then checked and I was 1cm and 50% effaced. Pitocin started (gradually) at 10:45, then a trigger-happy nurse was increasing my Pit every 1/2 hour!
At 3:30 I was told I could get the epi now or wait an hour until the anesthesiologist was free again. Even though the pain was manageable, I decided to get it then...thank goodness. 5 minutes later I was in excruciating pain with contractions every 1-2 minutes. Damn that nurse! The epi worked great though.
At 4:15 they checked and I was still only 1cm but 100% effaced. Nurse increased the Pit again. About 15 min. later I was at 4cm. 5 min. after that, we heard a faint alarm sounding and DH went to get a nurse since baby's HR had dropped. She checked and I was 6-7 cm! Suddenly I had 5 nurses around me giving me oxygen and I started shaking uncontrollably. They called the doctor in and she checked me and said I was at 9cm! Baby's HR was down to the 60s and they shut off the Pit. The contractions slowed his HR improved and I was able to rest for a bit.
A little later, I tried 2 practice pushes since baby's head was already past the section of cervix that was left. But his HR dropped again and we opted for an emergency c-section. Nicholas was born at 7:08 pm. 7 lbs, 7 oz., 19 1/2 inches. We found out that he was "sunny side up" (head down, but face up) and had the cord wrapped around his neck, which caused the distress.
The surgery went well and I was calm throughout, but I don't remember much from recovery except that I was shaking terribly again and falling asleep every other minute. They had given me a lot of anti-anxiety meds and I was really out of it. I didn't nurse until about midnight.
The next morning a blood test showed his bilirubin was increasing so he spent 2 days in the nursery receiving light therapy to control/prevent jaundice. He was given a lot of formula to help flush out his system, and I was really sad that he had to be introduced to bottles so soon.I pumped so my husband could feed Nicholas breastmilk from a bottle, and once my catheter was taken out I went up to the nursery to breastfeed several times. He was brought to our hospital room on Wednesday and I was thrilled beyond words.
Breastfeeding on my own was really tough, and I had to call the nurse in at 3am to help me because he wouldn't stop screaming. She was amazingly patient, and she held my breast and the baby's head while I cradled his body and manually expressed milk into his mouth to encourage him to suck. Without her, though, I felt like I didn't have enough hands to do it all and I was so emotionally drained.
We are home now, and I am currently exclusively pumping. I know the most important thing is that he gets breastmilk, but I feel like a failure. I think he got spoiled with the bottle feedings in the hospital, and he gets so frustrated when he has to work for his food that he just starts screaming. It makes me feel awful. I plan to call a lactation consultant this week, but I don't know if the damage can be reversed...
5 comments:
Congratulations!!! Nicholas is such a nice name! :-) With my first son, he had some latching issues once my milk came in, and I decided to exclusively pump so that he could get the milk without having to cry for it. It is totally your decision, but I will say that to this day (and my son is now almost 2 1/2 yrs. old) I regret not seeking help from a LC when he had difficulty nursing and not continuing to try and breastfeed him. It's hard when you're a brand new mother and SOOO exhausted, but I would really encourage you to seek help with breastfeeding as soon as you're able to. If it ultimately doesn't work out, know that you are an amazing mother for exclusively pumping and working so hard to give your child the best! I wish you all the very best and congratulations again on your no-doubt beautiful baby boy! :)
Congrats!!! And don't feel like a failure at all, you are doing the best you can and while it's not ideal, in the end all the matters is he is getting what he needs and growing! A LC will help a lot! :) Good luck and enjoy your sweet baby!!
Congrats!!! I'm so happy for you. I just wanted to stop by and let you know that you are not a failure (although this isn't the last time you'll feel that way unfortunately.) Breastfeeding is haaaaard and I don't think many of us new moms are prepared for that. I pumped exclusively after having mastitis (I was scared to let him nurse again.) The main goal is to get the breast milk to baby. However you do that, is up to you, his mom. You're doing the right thing by seeking help from a LC. I wish you so much luck because it ultimately didn't work for me and I was really bummed. If you ever need any pep talking, I'm here =)
Congratulations on your baby boy! I have heard of SO many women having trouble breast feeding - try not to beat yourself up about it and just know that he is getting the food he needs which is what is really important. Hoping you are able to enjoy this time as a new family.
Congratulations on the birth of your son! I just wanted to also add that exclusive pumping is not failure at all! Your son is eating and it's breastmilk, so that's great!
I had latch problems with my daughter and I saw 3 different LC while in the hospital and 1 more afterwards and it just didn't work for me. Emily would struggle to latch, get worked up crying and clawing at her face, and then I'd get upset too. On the rare occasion that she did latch, she would immediately fall asleep and none of the LC's ideas worked to wake her up. So, pumping it was. And now, almost 7 months later, I'm still doing it and not upset at all about it. Emily gets only breastmilk and she's growing perfectly. Don't feel bad about it.
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