Baby Shower Blues and Venting: Read With Caution

Is it wrong that I RSVPd a big fat NO to a friend's upcoming baby shower because I don't want to feel sad about the fact that I'm not pregnant?

Not to mention, I have been married for almost 2 years and have been trying for a couple months to get pregnant, and she and her husband got pregnant on their wedding night (if not before!) and they were totally not prepared to get pregnant.

Or so she said...she asked me a few times last year, including on her wedding day, when my husband and I were going to start trying and I, very honestly, told her we weren't ready. When I asked the same thing about her, she said they were going to wait also and she was going to find a steady job first since she was unemployed. The last time we spoke about this was in October (a month AFTER her wedding). A week later, I found out via a mutual friend's Facebook update that Friend #1 was pregnant! wtf?

I texted her to ask if it was true and she said she had found out a couple days earlier, and she was "just about to call" me. She also said they "didn't plan on it happening so soon." So I asked if they had been using birth control, and she did not answer. So that basically answered that question...

Fast forward a few months, and she sends out a mass text saying it's a girl. I responded by asking if she had picked out a name, and there was no response. A few weeks later, I found out the baby's name via an update on her Facebook page (not directed toward me). From the context, it seemed she had known the baby's name for quite some time.

So that is just about the only contact I have had with this friend in the past 5 months. I forgot to mention, she was my maid of honor when I got married in 2008. At this point, I would feel very out of place and uncomfortable at her bridal shower. Am I totally off base here?